Svetlana Slutnik

Even though the KGB kicked her out in disgrace for hammering a few too many sickles — and being a little too hammered — this Bolshevik bad girl remains loyal to the Motherland. When the Kremlin got wind of just how many unions this Soviet spy had made, it was the Gulag or La Grange for her. So Comrade Slutnik came here to spread some Communism with her big guns and her Kalashnikov, too. She’s the Commandant of Corruption and she and her commie cougars are going to take all your rubles and drink all your “wodka,” Capitalist pig-dogs. Her motto: Never say nyet. And she’s never said nyet yet.